3rd ID wife learns of husband’s death through text message and Facebook

Written by: Bridget Daniels Carlson
9 Comments

March 1, 2012 · Daily Life, In The News · · 3,426 views

WSAV reported on February 27th a story about a 3rd ID wife learning of her husband’s death through a Facebook post, then through a text message by another Army wife.

I am outraged by the actions of these fellow Military Wives. What godly right do you think you have to break protocol? And to the Soldier’s who felt the need to tell their wives despite the blackout; SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU! I really hope the Military takes this breach of protocol seriously and dishonorably discharges those who had their hand in this mess.

Listen up fellow Military Spouses, I am completely appalled at this behavior. I do not care what the age those wives are, there is absolutely no excuse for what they have done. There is no “oh I didn’t know” or “oh I am a new wife, I didn’t know any better”. I have been a Military Wife for 12 years. I have seen a lot of stuff, heard a lot of stuff, and been shocked a time or two. But this, just takes the cake.

I want to set the record straight here. If your husband tells you something in confidence because he needs to get it off his chest, assume that this information is classified and in no way are you to ever share it. EVER! In fact, keep most of what your husband tells you about his job and/or deployment to YOURSELF. Don’t assume that just because he has told you something, that everyone else in the unit already knows. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! This is more than just a loose lips sinks ships, OPSEC moment. This is a, you say the wrong thing to the right person and his career and your life is over kind of moment. The moment where you become the most hated person in the world, where everyone knows your name and it’s NOT a good thing.

What are your thoughts on this?

Bridget Daniels Carlson (149 Posts)

Bridget is a Mother to 4 and has been a Military Wife for 16 years. She is the author of the Dear Military Spouse column which currently appears on the USMC Hangout website and Examiner.com where she is the National Military Marriage Examiner. She is outspoken, loves a good debate, and doesn't like when people beat around the bush. She's never had a problem "telling it like it is". FTC Disclaimer About Reviews: The Company or Publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book or product unless otherwise stated in the review. However, I will always give my honest opinion of any book or product I review, no matter the circumstances in which I received it.



March 1, 2012 · Daily Life, In The News · · [Print] · 3,426 views

9 Comments to “3rd ID wife learns of husband’s death through text message and Facebook”

  1. Jamie
    March 1, 2012 @ 10:02 PM

    I completely agree! How could they think it was okay to say anything. How would they feel if they found out this kind of news this way… makes my blood boil!

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  2. Teresa
    March 2, 2012 @ 1:14 AM

    As a personwho has in the service, married to a service member and grew up in the service. I cannot understand why another person would do that to another. I have seen many of things but this has to be the Worse yet. Have a half a brain. How would you feel if it was your spouse and that how you found out about the death of your loved one. Who are you to do such a curle act. I hope you are discharged and loss All benfites. My prayers go out to the family who lost their loved one.

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  3. Cyn
    March 2, 2012 @ 7:54 AM

    I agree…. A wife shouldn’t have to find out that her husband is died by serving his country over a social network. I gone through a similar situation, my husband was in Afghanistan and, another solider was killed someone from that unit open their mouth to his wife before the officials even arrived there she already knew her husband was dead.

    3
  4. Bridget Daniels Carlson
    March 2, 2012 @ 9:09 AM

    Cyn, that is HORRIBLE! I just really don’t understand what is happening to our Military! What happened to honor and respect? What happened to being squared away and following the rules and having pride that you do follow the rules. It’s scary to think about really.

    If they aren’t following the order of keeping their mouth shut about that, you have to wonder what else are they allowing to leak out?

    4
  5. Nathaniel
    March 2, 2012 @ 11:05 AM

    I can tell you what’s happened. It started a long time ago when prayer was removed from schools. It has gotten dramatically worse under the new administration. I don’t care whether you are Republican, Democrat or Independent. The current leadership has no moral compass and he is the Commander of the Armed Forces. Unfortunately, his ideas do not line up with the majority of Americans and yet he is perpetrating that mentality and lack of respect for people upon the rest of us, and there are those that are buying into it, much like these wives, who think it not strange to bring harm to people and not abide by the code of common decency and mutual respect.

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  6. Penny Kay
    March 2, 2012 @ 3:12 PM

    I am disgusted with the lack of common courtesy today. Too many people fail to consider what they “tweet” or share in social media. If you wouldn’t want someone else to do it to you or your family, why do it to someone else? The other aspect is that anyone who divulges another’s information without specific authority to do so, is legally culpable. So what does that mean? It means that you CAN BE SUED for damages for breaching another person’s private information. Remember, what you post on the internet is traceable!! Think before you do send information…is it your right to divulge? If not, don’t send it!!

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  7. Mrs. Harris
    March 8, 2012 @ 10:21 AM

    Military spouses are not briefed of protocol. They are civilians with no knowledge of these restrictions. Most are young and marry quickly into what they don’t know. Take it easy on them. If more military commands set up a program and support groups for just them, maybe it would be less: Divorce, domestic violence, abandonment, just saying…..but you are right about the announcement of a death of a love one. That is crossing a delicate line. And “What’s told to you in bed should stay there.” But spouses can get PTSD from association of the traumatic stories of the Troops. Support your spouses….not degrade their actions. Start a support group with a vetern so they can relate.

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  8. Mrs. Harris
    March 8, 2012 @ 10:28 AM

    Second : Half, consider this people: They simply don’t know. I’m a Weapons veteran, and ex-spouse of military personnel, so I’ve seen the lack of support these female and make spouses receive from the military they fight to survive mental, emotionally and money. Give them assurance you can help them change this. Not take away their benefits. Apologize for those harsh comments, they are here reading this. But let it be know they endanger others when: LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS.

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  9. Blue 2
    April 15, 2012 @ 2:16 PM

    I have had a similar incident occur to myself. Some idiot in my unit heard over the radio that a soldier using my old callsign had been killed. For some bizarre reason, he felt he needed to notify the FRG, who then notified my family, that I had been killed.
    The failure here is not the family member, it is the soldier. The blackout exists for a reason. There are important counseling services that go along with a notification of that magnitude.
    This fool’s action should be disciplined using the most severe punishments available under Article 92 Failure to Obey and Order or Regulation.
    Within a month of this story being reported it has happened again, at Fort Carson now. Someone needs to be made an example. This needs to stop.

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