Written by: Bridget Daniels Carlson
Q. I am dating an Army man. I’m not a wife but I know that our relationship is going in that direction. I love him so much and fear that i may not be strong enough to keep it together one day. He’s been gone for 4 months and I’m already going crazy. How do i stay strong for him? I don’t want him to think I’m having doubts, I just miss him.
A. First, know that what you are feeling is completely normal. One thing that being married to the Military (or being a girlfriend of a Military guy) will make you, is strong. Being apart from someone you love is hard, and no one else will know how you feel unless they have gone through it themselves. Surround yourself with other Military girlfriends or wives. If you live in a non-military town, join on-line support sites such as our site Dear Military Spouse. Stay busy, busy, busy. Use this time apart to take up a new hobby or work extra hours to save up money for a romantic getaway when he gets home.
The key to any deployment really is staying busy. When you are busy time passes faster. But what if he calls and I miss it? What if he IM’s and I’m not at the computer? Most everyone these days has a cell phone. If you are one of the few that don’t, consider investing in one. If you don’t want to mess with a contract, get a pay as you go phone and give only him the phone number (so you don’t waste minutes on other calls). If you are worried about missing an IM, almost every cell phone has the capability of having a Yahoo or Skype App, this way you can take your IM software with you.
Before you know it, he will be returning home and you will have gained a new respect for yourself knowing that you are a strong woman. Once you make it through a deployment, you can pretty much make it through anything life has to throw at you.