Written by: Bridget Daniels Carlson
Q. It’s me again with some lovely order changes… No Presidents Day leave for my Fiancé. This changes all the plans for getting married at the court house before the actual ceremony in April. We are still on for the actual wedding ceremony April 7th but I was thinking about it and the county clerk’s office is probably closed on Good Friday… I’m going to call tomorrow to make sure. I’m guessing for the Easter 96 he will get Friday through Monday. We plan on getting married that Saturday but I’m concerned at how we are going to get the chance to get our marriage license before the wedding. Would it be wrong if we got married that Saturday and then Monday get our license and get the Preacher to sign it then. (This will be after the wedding has taken place) Is this terrible to do? This is pretty much the only option we have if he can’t get more leave with the Easter 96. If you have any other ideas I’d love to hear them. He has heard that they give u days to get married. Is this true? If so is it a pass or does he need to take leave days? Also I know that if between Christmas and New Year’s 96s u also take the 2 days in between, all 10 days count as your leave days. Would this be the same situation with taking extra days along with the Easter 96? Next I wanted to ask if he gets any days to help move. He’s heard he would. It’s not that I would want him to come up and help pack but more of once I get down there so we can get everything done that I need to be signed up for or however you would put that. (Everything in the check list for new military spouses)He finds out this week whether he gets PRP or FAST and where he will be stationed. We have been hoping for PRP so he doesn’t have to deploy right away but the down fall with PRP is that, from what he’s heard, its 2 weeks on 1 week off. He may not get to come home at night for those 2 weeks it sounds like. The reason I’m concerned is because if he doesn’t get time for moving he may not even be there to help me get use to everything and get me signed up for everything. I’ll need my military spouse ID card to shop at the commissary and PX as well. If you have any other words of wisdom you think I should know please let me know. You have been such a help to me so far and thank you so much for your knowledge and advice.
You must have your marriage license before you can get married, at least this is the case in all the states I have ever read about. I am not a lawyer so I cannot give you any kind of legal advice regarding that issue, you would need to contact an attorney in your state to find out what the legal requirements are for getting married, but as far as I am aware you must have a marriage license before you can legally get married, and the Military only recognizes legal marriages. I would suggest that if he cannot make it down to get the marriage license before hand, go to where he is and get married there or wait until Monday to get your license and get married the same day (most states have a clause that waive the waiting time from getting the marriage license to getting married for Active Duty Military).
They do not give you days to get married, he will need to take leave for that to happen. This is also true for helping you to move into the house, unless he has a really awesome CO that will just give him the days off and not require him to take leave. A rule of thumb to remember is that the Military never gives days off unless they are giving it to everyone (such as holiday’s). Everything else requires a pass or leave. Also on that note, not all leave is granted; just because he puts in for leave does not mean that he will get it. It is always best to put in leave earlier rather than later due to this.
As for holiday leave, you are only deducted leave days for the actual days you take. So if he wants to take leave from December 24-Jan 2 then he would be deducted 10 days. If he doesn’t want Christmas Day to count as leave then he would be off Christmas Day and would need to take leave from December 26 – Jan 2 which means he would instead sign out on leave December 26 and therefore only use 9 days leave. So if during the 96 on Easter he wants to have those days off and take leave for that Tuesday and Wednesday following the 96, then he would be off that 96 and then would sign out on leave on the Tuesday following the 96. If he will be too far away to do so, then he will need to make his leave dates cover the 96 unless he holds enough rank to just call in and sign out on leave that way, otherwise he would need to go back to the base that Tuesday and sign out on leave. Also in saying that, you usually cannot take leave in conjunction with a holiday. In other words if you have a 96 coming up, you would have to make your leave start at the beginning of that 96, as most will not grant leave to start at the end of the 96 unless you take the 96, go to work for a day, then have leave start the following day. An example would be the upcoming Easter holiday where the 96 covers April 6, 7, 8, & 9th. He could take that 96 go to work on the 10th and then sign out on leave starting the 11th.
Honestly, I think you are jumping the gun. You can’t plan for something when you don’t know the details. At this point for all you know he may get orders to be stationed in Japan or some other overseas location unaccompanied (which means you can’t go with him). Either way it happens, before you can do anything, he has to take the time to get you put in DEERS, you cannot get housing, an ID, insurance or anything else until that happens. Once that happens, he can get you a POA and you can do the rest yourself. As for moving, you may have to do it all on your own. Many spouses do it all the time, heck I’ve had to. When you become a Military Spouse, the one thing you should count on, is doing things by yourself. Sorry, I’m not one for sugar-coating my answers. As I always say, if you want it sugar-coated, sprinkle it with Splenda =)
Hope this helps some. Let me know if you have any more questions =) I am happy to help!